Epic Potty Training Fail

On Monday, Grandmom put you in underwear for several hours. You didn't have an accident and Grandma declared you ready for potty training.  Um, okay.

So this past weekend we decided to give it a go.

Saturday, July 21: Mommy got up with you, removed your overnight diaper and put you in underwear.  Soon after you ran into the kitchen and announced happily: "Mommy, I want to make poopy on the potty!"

Wow, that was easy.  What is all the fuss about potty training, I thought.

Then I checked your underwear.  Damn.  Double damn.

Fast forward to avoid detailed descriptions of scraping poop out of underwear...

We went to the diner for lunch.  You had on clean, fresh underwear and felt like a big boy. You got your usual (grilled cheese).  Charlie got his usual (strawberry crepes).  All was right with the world.  At the end of the meal, daddy took your to the bathroom to wash your hands.  That's when he realized you were soaked with pee.  You just let it all out as if you had a diaper on.

Long story short, you spent the rest of the day soaking underwear, your clothes, anything you sat on and anyone who picked you up with urine. I believe the outfit change tally = 5. Spectacular.

Sunday, July 22: It's go time. No diaper. No underwear.

The dream: You will feel the cool breeze on your nether regions. You will see what happens when you need to go pee. You will finally connect the sensation of "the urge" with the act and then you will use the potty. It will be magical and glorious.

The reality: You will empty your bladder on the dining room floor. You will do a great job cleaning it up (great for a 3-year-old). You will pee again in the yard. You will not care. And, to quote you, you "will never use the potty!"

And we're back to diapers.